day after the monster ball

hello.

last night cyn and i went to the lady gaga concert at the mom and it was awesome! we sat pretty high up, but were still able to see the production and boy did she sing. gaga sang live, of course, and danced up a storm. i truly have more respect for her after seeing her show. she sounded just like her tracks and even played the piano and keyboard. her costumes were out of this world crazy and she came out on a horse, motorcycle, moving objects, and got raunchy on stage. she swore a lot, but never was negative. she spoke a lot about being true to who you are, not giving a f*ck about what others think, acceptance of others' differences, and how we are all the same. she does so much for her fans and is really thankful for their dedication and support. she said only 5 years ago she was waiting tables among other random jobs until she could make it big in the music industry. she spoke about how she worked so hard to be the best at singing, playing the piano, and dancing. overall, 5 out of 5 stars for her monster ball concert. oh, and cyn even bought me a rainbow gaga flag to put up in our apartment!

on our way home we were noticing how the strip looked a bit foggy and cloudy. as we made our way back to our apartment it got much more foggier and foggier. we could barely see ten feet in front of our car. the fog was really thick. a first for us here in vegas.

was feeling a bit down the last few days. cyn's family is in town until tonight and she's been out all day the past few days to spend time with them. i miss my family. and its really hard to wonder about the immediate future when i haven't had a job for three months now. at least i talk to my mom every few days. they had a picnic at ala moana beach park yesterday with the khans and the sato girls showed up too. there is such a cute pic of kaila and matty in the water.  i miss them so. oh, and the food at the picnic looked so ono. miss that a lot too.

called the HR rep at desert springs hospital on friday, but she didn't call back. met up with supplemental health and signed a per diem contract. supposed to go get my fingerprint scan done, but she hasn't emailed me the info yet on where to go. i am feeling so lost, depressed, desperate, and lonely. just really down about where i am in my life. regretful of past actions. a dark place in my mind. here's to hoping that things turn around...